lists, lists, lists

My life is one big list, so why shouldn't this post be one too? 

1. Graduation t-29 days and counting. 

2. I'm sad for this semester to be ending, because it means my internships are ending and I really enjoy them. Hopefully I can still go visit some next semester. 

3. I don't think I believe that they are going to let me graduate... I mean I'm not engaged isn't that reason enough not to let it happen. ;) I've never known a life where I don't go to school, I don't think I'm going to like it. Good thing its only for 1.5 years or less. 

4. we started decorating for Christmas in our Apartment... its WONDERFUL! 

5. I'm staying in B'ham for Thanksgiving... I don't know how I feel about that yet. 

6. my "eportfolio" is turning out to be totally legit. When its done and online I'll post a link. 

7. I'm going to Tallahassee this weekend! but its supposed to be super cold, boo! 

8. I'm a year older. Each year birthdays get more and more strange. I feel old. I think 23 just sounds old. It could be that I turned 23 and in a month I graduate so all that adulthood junk is really getting thrown in my face. 

9. I've been visiting a new church. I think I really like it, but its hard to leave the other. But this one offers a sense of community the other never had, its so close to my apartment. And I really think the people are just precious.

10. I'm running a 5k in a little over a week... I haven't been running in like a month...oopsie. 

11. I've been sick a lot recently. I don't like it. 

12. I'm really not a fan of this phase of life. All your friends are moving, and getting married and our lives are separating a little bit. Its sad. 

13. I ordered graduation announcements... not the lame ones from the school, but super cute ones. I can't wait to get them in my hands. 

14. Some times I'm convinced I'm adopted. I mean I'm so opposite from both my parents and my brother its strange. I've felt like this all of my life. The way I think and the way they think are so different, I mean that has to be genetic and I have to have gotten it from somewhere else. Maybe my mom wasn't kidding when she told me I was the milk man's kid. 

15. I might, possibly, maybe have a crush. I don't like this. I don't know what to do with this. boo! 

16. I've been really music obsessed lately. I wish I had a job so I could afford to buy new music instead of just hoping what I wants pops up on pandora. 

election thoughts

I'll start with just a few thoughts I have had since watching CNN last night... 

118,747,361 people voted in 2008 

62,100,082 people voted in 2004 

that means that 56,647,279 more people voted in 2008 than in 2004. Thats incredible!!!

A nation of the people, by the people and for the people. I think we've forgotten about this, but this is where our country started and should never move away from. 

I'm not sure how you could have watched Barack's speech last night and not been inspired, and given a renewed hope for America's future.  

I thought it was very important and very interesting that Barack last night addressed the people who didn't vote for him, and reminded them that he is "their president too", so he'll be listening to their voices too. 

Let's talk about McCain's Concession Speech last night. One, I'm proud of his speech, this is probably the best speech he's ever done. I felt like he was honest and this was the first time I watched him and felt the honesty he had behind his words. However, I was APPALLED by the McCain supporters. I would be embarrassed to associate myself with them after last night. I could not believe they booed in the middle of the speech, they chanted McCain's name... they had nothing to gain from this. I wish they could have listened to what McCain was actually saying.  And it wasn't only the people at the rally, the McCain supporters at my election party had the same reactions, they made horribly rude comments during Obama's Speech, and then the facebook status waterfall of horrible comments. The world has not ended and will not end because of a new president. 

In watching the two speeches, a very distinct difference, that I somewhat just referenced. The McCain supporters at the rally and around the country versus the Obama supporters (again at the rally and around the country). The Obama supporters chants and statements made in the last 12 (ish) hours were "YES WE CAN" not Obama's name, not anything about a party, or a single person making change. It is about us as a country coming together to make change, and to bring America up to where it could be as a country. The greatness it can achieve, and the hope that it can afford its people. 

I have never been interested in the news, or politics, or keeping up with what's going on in the world. I've had the attitude of just let it happen, what is going to happen is going to happen.  However, I could not wait to watch the news this week, I stat mesmerized in front of the television last night, abandoning my studies for a few hours, waiting to see what America had in store for its future. I saw my peers, a generation who has been as apathetic as myself joining in the campaign, watching with the same interest I had, discussing and taking pride in the fact that they VOTED. My generation, myself included, have always been very apathetic about politics; we couldn't see our voices being heard, we couldn't see our efforts making a difference. But last night we did. We saw what could happen when we ban together and use our voices, for those that can't, for our country, for those that are scared to use them. We saw what we could do and now we are interested. We want to see what is going to happen and how we can be a part of it. This is now not just a country we've grown up in, and where our citizenship lies; it is OUR country, where we have a chance to make a difference, where we can take pride in our efforts to help those less fortunate than ourselves, a country we can love and affect, a country in which things will not get better unless we speak up, where our voice matters. I think not only is this a historic election because of who was elected, but also I think and I hope that the apathy of my generation is beginning to be broken as we realize the potential and opportunities we have for affecting this nation. 

lately

So I've been doing an internship at a homeless shelter. The first few times I was terrified, what am I going to talk about with these women, do we have anything in common? I hate small talk. I think I walked in thinking about what I could offer them, what I could teach them. and then I started watching them, and not trying to find ways to force a conversation but just learning where they work and what they do in their free time. 

I've been able to sit in on their bible studies, and listen to the things God is doing in their lives. I walked through the living room yesterday and found two of them studying their bibles. And I had to stop where I was standing and realize how complacent I've become in my relationship with God, I know he's there. I've hit rock bottom, and he was there, but why is it that when things are going well, we put our relationship with God on the back burner. I mean life doesn't get that bad very often, I am blessed. 

Tonight when I left one of the little girls who has won my heart had just been hugging me and holding me as tightly as she possibly could for the past five minutes, cried when I handed her off to her mom. It was heart breaking. This precious 4 year old little girl has seen so much of life in her 4 short years. She wants someone to be able to just sit and tell her how wonderful she is, and that wants nothing more to hear about school today. But her reality (I'm not saying her Mom is not a wonderful person and doing the best she can) is she comes to the shelter after school and her mom is coming home after a long hard day at a job that I'll be honest  I wouldn't even consider working. She's been on her feet all day, she doesn't know how to discipline very well, she just wants her little girl to like her and not thing she's mean. She wants to hold her and love her. I wish for a better life for her. All that to say, I think one of the things I'm going to start looking for opportunities to teach both of them and encourage them in their life. The won't be at the shelter forever at some point they've got to become self sufficient. I want them to be as prepared as they possibly can be. 

I love getting to be a part of the women's lives and I'm looking forward to going back in and learning something else, and seeing God move. 

things to come

I'm thinking about joining the Team in Training for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

More to come on that, but I'd just thought I'd share what I've been thinking a lot about lately. 

This semester is still a mystery to me. I have time on my hands, but theoretically I shouldn't.  I feel busy, but there are several times that I find myself bored. 

I don't spend a few hours every day in the Library, I actually haven't spend any hours in the library. I'm sure my table is wondering where I went, I bet someone else sits there and thinks its their table. 

I can pretty easily float by, I just don't know how to handle that. 

Semester after semester I can't seem to find enough hours to get everything done. I think not working as often during the day is part of this so I feel like I have more time when I get to the night and I don't have to slave away over my homework. 

I really can't believe how its all playing out. I looked at and I think picked out my graduation announcements today. I feel like yesterday I was slaving away trying to get my high school graduation announcements out while applying to colleges and deciding where to go, what to major in. Now all of that is over, and I did so much more than I ever thought. 

Lets play a game...

The name of the game is One Year ago Today....

One year ago today I began what would be the craziest weekend adventure of my life. We call that weekend "A Journey to find a Cab." You should read it. The morning we left for Northern Ireland was an adventure and our first outside of England, we had a lot to learn.  But looking back the chasing down a cab at 2:30 am, and then realize I've left my cell phone and flight and train confirmation numbers on the

 table where I signed us out at 2:30 am. (Trust me after that we all ALWAYS had 3 copies of our flight info on us.) We learned to actually pay attention to what station our train left from and when the tube lines were open and closed. 

That weekend was wonderful. We hiked Giants Causway, attempted to find the 20,000 puffins while we made up songs about puffins, we got in the North Sea (per a requirement of the boys to touch it), we went to the next city based on what some guy on a train told us to do, saw Atonement, and we almost rented a car. 

I can't believe that a year ago I was in London, it seems very surreal. I can't believe how nervous I was about living in the house with 18 strangers, that are now some of my closest friends and I have no idea how I lived with out. There is so much I didn't know a year ago, there is so much I hadn't seen. There is still so much to know and to see. 

I might be going back to London for Jan term, we'll see how it plays out. However I did start, seriously looking at Grad Schools in the UK, I mean why not. And I have a meeting next week to talk with our International Studies Office, to get some advice on moving to, and going to grad school in the UK. That's terrifying and wonderful, and too good to be true all at the same time. 

I guess the Journey to Find a Cab is still somewhat continuing in my life. I'm not looking for a cab right now, but I'm still on a Journey for something, and right now I don't know how or when I'll find it (I don't even know what it is). I just know that I have to find it, my next adventure is waiting on me to find it. 

Oh the Places You'll go

I've started the second week of school. My last semester. I think that means I'm supposed to have some answers, What's next? What do I want to do? But I don't. There are so many things I could do. So many passions I have, so many ways my gifts and talents could be used. But what do I do with all of that? I'm sure there is some way that it all will fit together and it will be magical. 

I caught myself thinking and complaining that there were so many options, so many things I could do. It made making a decision hard. And I had to stop myself and listen to what I was thinking. I was getting frustrated that I've been given so much. That I have options. It was so easy to complain, about this, about being given gifts and talents. Honestly I need to be thankful. Seriously. I had food to eat for dinner, some people don't have that. I have the resources, and a brain to go to school, and get an education, and I will get to continue my education... when I decide what I want to do. I get to make choices, some people only have one option, or maybe no option at all. 

Somewhere along my life, I was told, Attitude is a choice, I can choose to look at the bright side, and choose to be happy and thankful. Or I can not. But its my choice. So today, I'm choosing to be thankful for the resources, and options I have.