You can never go home again

Today I went to the place I've avoided for 2 months because I knew I would fee like I did. I stood in the place that I learned so much about myself, life, love, and God. A place I call home, I felt home as soon as I pull in. A place where I met my friends, which became my family here. A community that surrounded me for 4 years and love me, and taught me so much, and was so much to me. This place was Samford.

I mean obviously life goes on, I knew that I was leaving Samford and would continue to grow and evolve and thrive. I knew that I would grow and evolve, and thrive out in the real world. However that first time you go home after you've left. To place you love, to a place you feel so comfortable so right. Where so much in your life happened. And you realize for real that you've left SUCKS. You realize the community that you adore and were a part of has changed and so have you.

It is all a part of growing up. That doesn't mean I have to like it. ;)

My how the time flies

Time seems to fly, when your growing up. Lately I've been walking down the path of adulthood, at more of a run than a walk. I suppose that is how the first miles go though. Yesterday, I got my insurance card... its strange to have an insurance card with my name on it instead of my parent's. I drove the "Hope Mobile" today for the first time. Woo Hoo, I love driving in a giant van down the tiny, packed streets of downtown Birmingham. Lovely.

Tomorrow, at 5:30 I will be working at an awesome event called Project Homeless Connect. A lot of work has been put into this day, every organization in the Birmingham area will be present, as well as people to cut hair, doctors, dentists and even the DMV to help skip some steps and get people IDs. Its going to be huge. I hope to see some of the women I worked with during my internship as well as lots of my current clients.

One of my favorite clients that I was getting to know very well and enjoying the days he showed up was picked up by the cops and is now in jail... for a long time. I knew when he got out of our van on Wednesday he was going to do something stupid. I knew it! But that doesn't mean we didn't have one of the best conversations right before he got out of the van. I have learned not to ask a lot of questions to let my clients lead the conversations and if I'm listening I will pick up what is going on with their lives and how I can help as well as a little bit of insight into their lives. So Wednesday as we drove through the West Side I just let him talk. He showed me where he grew up, where his buddies used to live, where he used to buy weed, where a cop was shot a few months ago... and several other things. This was huge. Not only was showing me where he grew up and allowing me to begin to understand a little more about who he real is; but he was letting me know that he trusts me to know things about his life he hasn't shared with any other staff at the shelter. He was giving me the okay to now ask personal quesitons, to ask about growing up in 'the hood', but to ask about his family and friends, and to probe deeper into the criptic answers he gives us when we ask what he's been up to. ... But he's in jail now, and I probably won't be working in this job when he gets out, depending on how long he's in jail.

The realities of these kids lives are sinking in to me. I'm seeing more of the neighborhoods my clients came from. I've noticed that most people that are homeless have some type of mental disorder. It makes sense, but I hate it.

I want to go to Grad school, but its hard to explain what I want to do, so that I can get the right degree and actually accomplish my dreams.