lately

So I've been doing an internship at a homeless shelter. The first few times I was terrified, what am I going to talk about with these women, do we have anything in common? I hate small talk. I think I walked in thinking about what I could offer them, what I could teach them. and then I started watching them, and not trying to find ways to force a conversation but just learning where they work and what they do in their free time. 

I've been able to sit in on their bible studies, and listen to the things God is doing in their lives. I walked through the living room yesterday and found two of them studying their bibles. And I had to stop where I was standing and realize how complacent I've become in my relationship with God, I know he's there. I've hit rock bottom, and he was there, but why is it that when things are going well, we put our relationship with God on the back burner. I mean life doesn't get that bad very often, I am blessed. 

Tonight when I left one of the little girls who has won my heart had just been hugging me and holding me as tightly as she possibly could for the past five minutes, cried when I handed her off to her mom. It was heart breaking. This precious 4 year old little girl has seen so much of life in her 4 short years. She wants someone to be able to just sit and tell her how wonderful she is, and that wants nothing more to hear about school today. But her reality (I'm not saying her Mom is not a wonderful person and doing the best she can) is she comes to the shelter after school and her mom is coming home after a long hard day at a job that I'll be honest  I wouldn't even consider working. She's been on her feet all day, she doesn't know how to discipline very well, she just wants her little girl to like her and not thing she's mean. She wants to hold her and love her. I wish for a better life for her. All that to say, I think one of the things I'm going to start looking for opportunities to teach both of them and encourage them in their life. The won't be at the shelter forever at some point they've got to become self sufficient. I want them to be as prepared as they possibly can be. 

I love getting to be a part of the women's lives and I'm looking forward to going back in and learning something else, and seeing God move. 

things to come

I'm thinking about joining the Team in Training for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

More to come on that, but I'd just thought I'd share what I've been thinking a lot about lately. 

This semester is still a mystery to me. I have time on my hands, but theoretically I shouldn't.  I feel busy, but there are several times that I find myself bored. 

I don't spend a few hours every day in the Library, I actually haven't spend any hours in the library. I'm sure my table is wondering where I went, I bet someone else sits there and thinks its their table. 

I can pretty easily float by, I just don't know how to handle that. 

Semester after semester I can't seem to find enough hours to get everything done. I think not working as often during the day is part of this so I feel like I have more time when I get to the night and I don't have to slave away over my homework. 

I really can't believe how its all playing out. I looked at and I think picked out my graduation announcements today. I feel like yesterday I was slaving away trying to get my high school graduation announcements out while applying to colleges and deciding where to go, what to major in. Now all of that is over, and I did so much more than I ever thought.