Real what does that even mean....

I hate that this has become a place where I just kind of rant when I'm having a bad day. I'm going to try to be better at that. I miss blogging a whole lot.

So anyways I guess back to the typical rant.... I some times feel like I shouldn't have even gone to London. Some days thats all I want to talk about, it was a life changing experience, I was more myself there than I think I've ever been. All of the "Samford expectations" (thanks Jen) are gone and you just get to know your housemates and people around the city. Its amazing. You don't think about who you tell things to and what you tell them. In my case you had 18 people and so you just poored your heart out to who ever was in the house and would listen. And it didn't matter what you told them they loved you, and you all just lived together and shared.
Well then you come back to Samford and things are different. It matters if you don't tell your best friends things but perhaps you talk about it with other people because of the nature of the information. As I recently dished to my lovely Aqua 08 office girls, I think I'll just put that paragraph here as it was in the email, because I don't know that I could say it as well as I did again....
"I'm pretty sure I'm being followed with cameras, and my life is really a hit TV show. Kind of like that movie with Jim Carey, I think it was the Truman Show. Anyways my life is much more dramatic, with a lot of awkward thrown in there. I always seem to be thrown into some awkward position. Or have some Drama in my life. I'm working on the name of my show, I'll let you know since you will all are becoming very important roles in this show. Although I'm pretty sure if it was a conspiracy, TV show where they are following me with cameras you'd all know the name of the show, as well as all the drama. haha. Along with the Drama there tends to be at least one funny story of the day, usually from and awkward moment, so you can look forward to those. I say all of this to lead into the finally of ways to you could pray
for me... Boy drama. haha, you should have known right. Its a really long, and strange story that I'm trying to process, and you can all get the full run down which I'm sure will be much better at training week... unless you really want it then I'll gladly share. But this is definitely an area I could use some intercession in, regarding wisdom and courage in some really difficult conversations that I have to have, as well as simply a peace as to what I'm supposed to do with
all of this."

I realize I haven't been so great at the relationships in my life, especially since I got back from London... they are so much harder here and there is so much school junk happening that I don't have a chance to catch my breath and work on all the relationships in my life. Also some of them I'm still trying to figure out, ever time I think I do something changes and I'm left baffled and really confused again.

I think later I'll get more of this out and clearly just lay out to my blog readers that are few and far between what is happening in my life. Maybe there will be some clarity when that happens.

But for now ... here we are.